When Worlds Collide

The night-before settles.
A necrolific ooze in the
gloom of a stunted morning.
2am-state-of-grace proven
to be a false epiphany.
That gaze of mental clarity
waning with the smoke of each cigarette,
decomposing into a pasty stare like
organ failure or shrunken heads, resignation.
Teeth-clenching-grinding-wretched
daybreak lucidity leering like a public toilet.
Dim light that aches and seeps under doorjams,
invading windows that groan
under that brutal glow.
Photoscopic mould of
grey anemia catacomb luminosity.
Nimbus influenza on a ricketty bee-line
and howling for destitute introspective weather.
Expectorate lung-butter rain
lacrimated limp and all flash-frozen insects
falling in grimy crystal drops.
Locust viscosity landing in belittle smears on cars, pavement,
latching on to surfaces
hung between homes.
Spiderweb drizzle leeching colour and
coating states-of-mind sluggish.
Here,
on a wheezing bleached
flaking expiring balcony,
ostracized and brandishing my life
like a dead pet held by a leg.
Broken shapeless and disassociated
from exuberance or meaning.
Blackened and brittle and still smoking.
I know you didn't mean to burn me.
How could you have known I'd never
been so close to a star before?
But what's the point?
Surrounded by a membrane,
senses isolated in a tumultuous visceral festering.
When I tried to reach out for you
I felt more like a growth than a man.
Some affronting insipid moss
subterranian wet clammy clingdom.
Myconoid discharge seeking
to descend upon you and grow
to some blatant inappropriate immensity.
Just open your petals for a moment and reveal your stigma.
Let me in all pollenating globular fusion
on the run on the ropes
triassic tarpit bound stuggling
on a sticky coil.
Here I am gummed up in
flypaper hanging.
The real thing and
not a painted on decoy
not a stoolie
not a mistake
not a lie
and not all right.
This lurching zombie adherer beast
just one of your doomsday scenarios
and I'm transported through them all:
Spores in space swept up
in winds you blow through my system
cast out towards absolute zero vacuum oblivion;
Your eyes slay the universe, your stare
through molecular continuity;
A cosmic juggernaut, shockwave immolator,
Big Bang planetsmasher, bolt thrower;
Your gravity breathes me in pulling me vaporized
reduced to pretty insignificant fallout lights for stargazers.
Meteorshower melancholy.
You're a maelstrom, too much
for my ineffective radiation.
You're a colossus and I'm less
than sadness or mercy.
We meet and you spin through unhinderd.
My heat wrenched from me and consumed, phantom zone voided.
Worlds colliding, and out of the blast
you emerge in terrible brilliance,
thwarting my dusted attempts
to climb your sword.
Just shy of heaven.
Your love is hungry
and my courage is a shackled old crone
afraid of angels and sharper teeth,
afraid of your expanding dimension,
your blazing imminence.
And this is what happens
When Desire leads Rationality.
When Love defies Logic.
When weakness is devoured in
the face of rampaging insurmountability.
When I believed I could've flown.
The way we are when worlds collide.